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Thursday, February 23, 2012

Hoore Hoore

Salam persiaran dari Awana Kijal.


It was a last minute plan. Hubs found out he's going to Kerteh few days back and I have this thought of 'Why not I just follow you?'

Hubs never say no. Of course.

But I have these doubt where I might have don't enough leave when it close to delivery date. So I calculate.

'Tolak sini. Erm. Sebulan at least sekali. Then Phuket? Eh. Takpe. Tu blakang kire. Oh, bulan ni spare cuti for this..and that.'


So I did.

I told my bos yesterday and he's okay. (He is the nicest person in the office. Always smiles though he's currently taking 3 roles in his hand. Always laugh and make fun of things whenever thing didn't turns out well. He's the kind of bos that I would go lunch with and celebrate his birthday. Such an awesome bos)

We went right after work and Hubs driving, as always, since I am preggy. He would prefer to stop by and sleep while I am really capable of driving. At first, I would insist but as times goes by, I know he just wont give a chance. Not that I really wants to drive though. Haha.

I think I haven't drive for few months, not until last week because I have a training at Centrepoint. No choice. Wohoo! My driving skill is still there but my heart, my heart was pumping as hard as it's going to blow out whenever a car hit it's break in front of me. You knowlah traffic in peak hours. It's the kind of pressure that is not good for me. Bawak kerete pun nk tension. Apelah :P

Anyway, I somehow find a reason why Hubs not prefer Im driving.

We were talking all the way from KL till arrive. I was singing Sudirman song Hoore! Hoore! and can't stop smiling while packing up my stuff.

Mari kita mari kita
Bergembira tepuk tangan sama-sama
Kita menari sambil langkah kanan kiri
Goyang badan goyang kaki
Hoore hoore hip hip hoore
Hoore hoore hoore hoore
Hip hip hoore hoore hoore
That's how happy I am when I know we are going to the East Coast, plus knowing that I'll be meeting my parents by end of the weekend, just a perfect things to have after so long. The last time we went back was last December. Wuu..lameee.

It was 4 hours ++ journey, with few pit stop for my toilet break. My back was terribly in pain for the past few days, especially when I went home after work. Somehow, the trip reduce the pain that I have. Miracle! But I can't lie that my leg is numb after 3 hours in the car. 

Subhanallah. Sakit sungguh tapi what makes me survive is the feeling of knowing the reason of all this pain is for me to have my own child, which one of His greatest gift that I have in my life. Thus, I wont complain but be grateful for it. Eventually, it turns out a beautiful pain and I would sleep with it every night, hoping it will go away after I wake up. 

Alhamdulillah. It is.

Oh, lupe. Last check up was early Feb and we are surprise when suddenly Dr Tan amplified the baby's heart beat. It was so fast and sounds so loud. Thud! Thud! Amazing feeling. Alhamdulillah, the baby growth's fine. I loose few kilo's but I think I'll gain for the next check up. 

There was a funny moment when Dr Tan said 'The baby is fine. See it's more clearer this time. You can see the head (pointing) and here's the four fingers' and suddenly Hubs said 'How do you manage to count there's four?'

I was laughing and Dr Tan have to freeze the scan. Of course la tak berapa clear but Dr have sharp eyes kan :P then she shows the clearer image. At home, Hubs still amazed how she could quickly know there's four. Haha. Comel.


I am close to 4 months and my tummy is harder. I would say there's a bump but I am not sure is it just my fat or my baby. Macam awal je nk ade baby bump :P

Wah, ini entry sudah carca merba. Haha. I'm going to have my rest now. Hubs is away for his training and will be back in the evening. Today is cloudy but the weather is still nice. Sun is a bit shy but I'll catch up in the noon. Till then!

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Paranoia and love

Written on 5th January 2011

I have brown spotting the other day. It started few days back but just a small discharge but I was quite shocked when I have (about) 1cm line of brown stain on my pantyliner the other day. I was shaking and started to think the worst. Quickly talk to Hubs and called PCMC to talk to my gynea.

She was in the middle of consultation and the nurse said she'll leave a message and will call me back. I wait for more than one hour and Hubs insist to call them back. After go back and fourth calling them, finally the assistant called me and asking about my condition. I explain to her that I have cramping but I still can hold on even it's getting harder. She told me that I should take rest and in case of my vaginal discharge turns red and I couldn't hold the cramping, then I should go straight to ER.

I suppose to have an appointment the next day at 12noon but she asked me to come early in the morning to have the ultrasound, making sure the baby is fine. I felt restless after went home just lie on bed trying to sleep.

The next day, we met Dr Tan and she do the ultrasound but the we still couldnt see the baby. She told me that there is a progress where my sac is expending. Last time it was 1cm and that day was 2++cm. I read that it is normal not to see the baby just yet at 7 weeks but I worried something could happen inside the sac as I have the abnormal discharge and cramping.

Therefore, the doctor suggested transvaginal ultrasound. She sound me the device and explain how it works. Told Hubby that I want to do it and he's okay with it. I think I am so paranoid at this moment.

Dr Tan did the transvaginal ultrasound and finally we can see the baby. She showed one image that blinking 'like twinkle twinkle little star' as what she said. She told us that is the heartbeat. Aw....

The black circle is my sac and there's the baby inside :D

Alhamdulillah..the baby is fine. It was about one cm inside my sac. Dr Tan gave me vitamins and another meds to strengthen my womb. She even gave me 2 days MC and Hubs said he also wants it too. Poor Hubs. He was running back and fourth to office, just to make sure I am fine.

I didn't saw Hubby reaction as I am focusing the screen without blinking and amaze that I have another life inside me. After went home I asked Hubby how he felt when he sees the heartbeat but knowing the man that I know, he is hardly show any emotion. It's like telling him I won 1million and I fall from 99floor. He'll show both flat face.

He asked how should he react and I told him 'like in the movielah'. He was laughing his ass off and hugged me. It was a funny conversation as movies do effect myself and Hubs is a realistic man. He don't believe anything that is illogical. Everything must have an explanation.

You know that preggers do crave sometimes? I am not sure if it's the pregnancy that brings me the crave of having apple juice in the middle of night and I told him the baby wants apple juice. He laughed and explain its not the baby, it's just me. Well I think he is right but meanwhile he is deciding to go out buying the drinks. I felt guilty for making him go out buying things for me but he still did anyway. Kissed me on the forehead and leave with a giggle. Aw..rase kesayangan :))

There are other things that he did that makes me love him even more, like cutting fruits for me, doing chores and other small little stuff but lets just keep it to ourselves, else you'll puked, especially close friends to Hubs. Haha.

Thank you so much dear. Je t'aime XOXO

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Demam paling teruk tahun ini

Written on 19th December 2011

The first trimester is the most crucial part. I am in my 6th weeks and just called Umi, reporting my health yesterday. I am all good, except easily get tired and keep peeing. No neausea, dizziness what so ever.

I am preparing for dinner and starving but have to do Maghrib first before enjoying my meal. During solat, my back is having severe pain and I am suddenly have high temperature. Right after solat, I lay down on bed and ignoring my growling stomach. Hubby tuck me in and at that moment I am still ok.

After few minutes Hubby leave me inside, I am shivering and get jacket, together with my socks. Then covered myself with blanket and I am still feel cold despite I dont turn on the fan. My body is getting hot and I feel like I should have my sleep. Things probably will get better after I wake up.

But I was wrong. It gets worst and I have to pee. Called Hubby from bed asking for help. He funnily taught that I was making myself mengada (because I always did that everytime he played his games :P) but after he touch my hands and looked my face, he knows that I am at terrible pain. It's just too hot that makes him worried. I heard him called Ma asking what to do. We don't want to take any meds as we afraid it will effect the baby. First trimester was too risky for two tablets of panadol, at least for me and Hubs. We don't know if it's okay.

He damp the towel and put at my fore head. Later he went to 7E looking for Cool Fever.

Aww..masa tu rase touched tapi tak mampu berkata-kata. Huhu.

I drink plenty of water as Ayah taught me that bile demam je minum air banyak as water will reduce the high temperature. Later on, I don't feel any pain spiking to my bone anymore and I dont feel cold like before. I feel better and the temperature is getting low. Hubby keeps on accompany me and I feel bad. I convince him that I am better and after he heard me laughing for his jokes, then he felt relief to leave me alone before continue his games.

I wake up this morning and still feel unwell, but better. Oh dear, I don't know if this is because of the pregnancy or just a normal sickness but it was really sudden. Kalau sebab pregnant, wow, I am gonna have a rough journey.

Baby, we gonna go through this together and we have to keep on fighting ok? All of us will keep on praying. With God will, things will get better :)

Friday, February 3, 2012

Things happen for a reason (part 2)

Written on 19th December 2011

I was at my 6th weeks of pregnancy when this happen. I worried for things could go wrong and keep on crying at emergency room when thinking about it. I told Hubby 'Baby..' but he unexpectedly said 'Takpe. Tu boleh buat lain. Sayang tu dulu, ok?'


There was cartoon sticker on the wall where there's a rainbow, flying frogs and unicorns. All of them looks happy and it actually helps to feel better, despite the terrible pain.

..and still it reminds me of the baby again :(

I supposedly been injected with ATT (anti titanius toksiod) but due to the pregnancy, the Doctor advice I don't have to take it. Later we meet our Gynea and she was so shocked with the news.

Alhamdulillah, I didn't bleed and I don't feel any pain on my womb. She scanned the baby but we hardly see the embryo, just yet, and have to come back after two weeks. Hopefully it'll show up :)

God works in mysterious way. I think Allah gives this test to help me bed resting at home. Probably my womb is not strong enough, thus the MCs before Christmas holiday. All I have is 6 days of rest with no work to worry about. Maybe He wants the baby is strong enough in between these days before I start working back and ride on motorbike again.

Baby, we gonna be strong and both of us will fight till you come out healthy, okay :)

Allah Maha Mendengar

Wrote on 19 December 2011

I keep track my period using iPeriod apps and I am sure that it never wrong. If it's dated that I will get my period on 11th November, then I will get my menstrual that day. Alhamdulillah, since the Hysteroscopy my menstrual is easy to calculated and expected.

As usual, I was schedule to have another cycle on 11th December and I did, technically, as I have the brown stain - but that's it. No more after that. I wait till the third day and nothing. Not a single stain. My hope is always there and I pray so hard till I teared up everytime I wish for it but afraid of another late menstrual days.

I googled for the symtoms and found this.

1. Cramping

Ya Allah. It gets worst day after day. The article said that pregnancy cramp always mistakenly for menstrual cramp. I was wondering how it differ because any cramp happen down my belly is period cramp, kan?

2. Breast tenderness

Nope. I dont have any tenderness on my breast. Not even a pain.

3. Nausea

Nope. Hardly. I never puke. Percaya tak?

4. Bloating

Yes! Yes! I don't know where those gas coming from. I even force myself to fart or burp to feel better but it's not happening and I just have to bear it. It is so uncomfortable.

5. Contisipation of diarrhea 

I have this on my fourth day (from the day I suppose the get my menstrual) and I was thinking what food should I blame. Hmm..

6. Headache/Backache

Mende ni rase biasa la kan. Kalau stress kat kerja, peninglah. Kalau posisi duduk tak betul, sakit blakang lah kan. But I hardly stand up so long sebab nanti mesti rase lenguh belakang. I blame my weight. Haha.

7. Increase body temperature

I feel like having a fever through out the day after work but I suppose that I am tired or terkena hujan ke kan.

8. Vaginal discharge

A woman’s vaginal discharge can give her a clue as to where she is at in her menstrual cycle and whether or not she has conceived.

Tell me. How does this any different? I do feel wet down there - like it's ready for another full pads, but its not.

9. Mood swings

Eh. Ini normal. Tak yah tunggu pregnant pun. Haha.

10. Frequent trips to the bathroom

I drink a lot of water. I could finish my 1.6liter tumbler during office hour and I dont blame if I ever pregnant or not because of the water coming inside me. But! But! I hardly drink lately because I am so lazy to refill my tumbler. That makes a different because I keep on going to the toilet and keep having these two spoon of urine. Urgh. Tak tahan tu macam nak keluar sebaldi je :P


So when Hubby found out I already can solat on the third day, he was asking 'betul ke?' and positively saying 'kite tgk macam mane k. kalau ade rezeki, ade kan' :)

I wanted to wait after a week to do the pregnancy test but Hubs keeps trigger my curiosity last Saturday morning.

'Kalau tunggu Isnin nanti lambat nak book Gynea'

'Ok. I'm gonna sleep first (it's after Subuh) before we go breakfast and you just keep yourself je kalau sayang buat UPT k? I wont ask'

So I went to the toilet and do the test while he went sleeping. I wait for the line less than a minute and already know the result and go back inside the room but he dont even sleep and right away ask me the result. Well, it's only one line but I dont feel sad like always. Probably I already set my mind that I shouldn't be too hopeful.

Soon after, I forgot that I didn't shut the light off and went back to the toilet but I notice unusual line in my UPT.  I looked closely and blinking my eyes, afraid it lies. There's another line but slightly visible. I called Hubby to check and he's positively confirm I am not dreaming. Alhamdulillah, our hope is there.

After having a good breakfast, we went to clinic and it took so long to get the result. You knowlah tah ape procedure. Padahal same je UPT. Lolz. Hubby sampai sempat pegi beli tiket movie and while waiting him, the nurse called my name. Dr Fareikh analyze the result and saying 'Congratulations. You are pregnant'

I was almost teared up but cautiously saying 'Alhamdulillah. Macam tak percaya'. She smiled and calculate my estimated delivery date (EDD)

Keluar bilik Doc dengan two papers in hand. Hubby came back and saw me sitting at different place, asking 'Macam mane?' I was preparing my act with :( face but he immedietly saw the paper. 'Haaa..dah nampak' and quickly grab the paper. Alaa..tak sempat berlakon :P

We both are happy to annouce that we are expecting on August 2012 for this bundle of joy, InsyaAllah. Thank you for your prayers.

Glory be to Allah. Terima kasih atas kemurahanMu dan permudahkanlah perjalanan kali ini dengan redhaMu. Amin :)

ps: This post is written before I knew I was pregnant but purposely scheduled it at the end of the month.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Breaking the news

Me and Hubs decided to wait for at least we passed the first trimester before announcing publicly that we are expecting a baby this year. But I unintentionally replied my friends mail regarding her engagement attendance by 'I'll come with +1+1'. It was suppose to mean Hubs and Angah which people who normally hang out with me lately knows that I always bring them two but to some who hardly met, they'll have questions of me being pregnant.

So I just keep quite and so does the email goes.

Not long after, we had a celebration of Maryam turns 1 at Midvalley and there was Hazirah and Shima who arrived early. Hazirah straight away asking 'Ain, jap. Ko dah berisi ke?' 

Shima was stunned and my head was thinking whether should I break the news.

Hazirah added 'Sebab dalam email ko tulis +1+1 tu. Curious aku'

So I smiled.

Shima suddenly voiced out 'Aku ingat ko tulis 1+1 tu means Abrak (Hubs) ngn Angah. Sebab selalu pun korang bertiga kan. Oh..mannn!!! Aaa..congrats wey!'

I dont prepared for the congratulatory and keep smiling while they are excited for the news. Stuttered I suppose. Later, me and Shima excused ourselves to look for Maryam's gift while waiting for others. More people starts to show up and when we came, all of us was there....and the story goes.

Zac suddenly break the conversation with the congratulations when she saw me arriving to the table and Raja was a bit late and probably missed the news. She paused everyone and said 'woo..woo..wait. Did I missed something? What's the congrats all about?'

Everyone was smiling and she looked at me.

'Ain..did you..? oh my? really? true??'

Things got pretty heat up over the news and they start asking is it boy or girl, how did I know found out, how does Hubs reaction, where am I going to deliver and etc.

As they were talking, I started to feel nervous about it and told them 'Oh man, now I'm nervous'

I opened up myself and somehow I feel glad that the news breaks in such a way. I noticed I have much more support that I need and Magh even wanted to share with me some of the doa during pregnancy that she had when she carried Maryam.

I told Hubby about it and we figured, maybe when more people know about it, the more doa will have, thus blessed my pregnancy even more. Despite the insecurity of all the bad things would happen in the first trimester, I think it's fine to told everyone about this and I hope with all your prayers, things will go smoother and I also do pray for all my friends will also been given with such blessing.

Therefore, from now on, I'll post some of the updates that I kept since I knew I was pregnant. So there might be some recap what's happening over the past few weeks. You might get confused but bear with me, it's just a few :)