Wan

Tika itu, tangan wan dah paralyzed. Kak long tak tahu kalau wan boleh rasa kak long pegang tangan wan. Kak long sedih bila fikir semua yang tangan tu dah buat utk kak long.

Kak long tahu, tangan tu banyak curah kasih sayang kat kak long. Tangan yang ajar siang ikan, tangan yang ajar selok belok perihal rumah (lipat kain, menyapu etc) Wan jugak sangat trust kak long kupas kelapa dan mesin nyor tu. Peh.. Time tu rse sgt kewl. Hebat sangat sbb berani mesin nyor. Tapi kalau suruh sekarang, memang tak dah.

Masakan wan paling sedap kebabom sampai tahap tak berani puji melambung nanti umi dengar umi kecik ati. Setiap kali sampai rumah wan, mesti selongkar tudung saji. Dapat sisa pun, habis kitorg adik beradik kerjakan.

Wan sangat penyayang, susah nak tengok wan marah. Aki suka sakat wan dan time tu boleh dengar wan berleter aki sakat wan.

Seorang yang sangat bersangka baik dengan orang. Ade satu conversation dengan wan yang buat kak long kata ayah garang, suke rotan ktorg, tp bila time adik (bongsu) x buat pun. Rasa tak adil. Tapi wan kata, masa kak long kecik, ayah masih muda, darah panas. Sekarang da berusia, dah tak larat nak marah2 lg. Betul juga.

Ingat satu masa dulu, ayah marah kak long berak lama dalam jamban. Ayah cakap 'berak ke main air?!'Terbantut feeling berak tapi wan back up. Wan cakap 'Xpe la. Die geli tu sembur air tu' Wah..dalam hati menari2 ade jugak orang back up aku berak lama.

Those are memories, memories that when wan was healthy and me was too young to understand that one day, this will go away, people will get old and you will have to continue living your life and be realistic.

Those were the days where I promised myself that when I have my own job, I want you to stay with me, bring you to the mall in a wheel chair,xde duit xpe, janji bawak wan jalan2. I promise you, that you will see me get married, have own child before you go away. Luckily one of those promises came true.

Then maturity hit me. Reality slapped me hard that you still have your child, that deserved more to take the responsibility, the love that a child longing to pay the debt that you had sacrifice for bringing them to this world. I respect their decision and I am more than happy to be able spend the time before I get my own job.

Remembering those night that you wakes me up in the middle of the night to change your diaper or have to sweat myself cleaning you for your shower and you never stop saying how sorry you were for making the trouble. Lillahitaala wan. It was never a trouble. There was nothing to forgive when I just love you so much that I wish I could just leave everything and spend the rest of my life with you.

Although we seldom see each other, I always, always have you in here - my heart. Selalu wan. Kak long tak ingat kak long pernah cakap kak long sayang wan. Tapi kak long lega dapat bagitahu wan 2minggu lepas. Kak long lega wan sempat sentuh Rauhah dengan Aqil. Allah.. Tuhan jer tahu happynya kak long dapat peluang bagi cicit untuk wan.

Kak long sentiasa doakan kebaikan wan. InsyaAllah wan, kak long akan sentiasa sebut wan dalam doa kak long. Semoga Allah ampunkan dosa wan, tempatkan dikalangan orang beriman. Kita jumpa lagi. Kak long sayang Wan. Sungguh.