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Monday, September 17, 2012

Random

We were listening to the radio and there was a song playing called Teman Pengganti. At first I thought it was Francisca Peter's song remake for Disekadar Pinggiran cause the tune's almost the same but of course, I was wrong. It was the first time I heard and Hubs dedicate (we always dedicate song to each other whenever we heard any ;)) the song to me. As always, I tried to focus on the lyric and at the same time Hubs explain about it.

Aku kan pergi,
Bertemu kekasih abadi,
Tiba masanya,
Kau cari pengganti.

But I don't like it.

The song is nice but I don't like his thinking of me getting his replacement when he's gone. Oh mengenangkan ayat 'when I'm gone' tu sedih dah tau, and to think about his replacement?? I asked why do I need to FIND his replacement and he mention 'at least someone could take care of you and the kids'.

Sedikit ketidakpuasan hati disitu.

Not because I hate the idea of having the replacement but to FIND one? I told him I don't want to FIND any because no one could replace him and he said 'Takdelah, kalau ade orang yang nak, takkan sayang taknak'

Haa..disini ade sedikit arguement dari saya.

I explained that if there's anyone would come to me and that doesn't mean I want to.

Discussion ends right there.

Losing is the most fearful thing that I could imagine when thinking of the people that I love. Sebab itu saya selalu berdoa pada Dia 'Janganlah Engkau membiarkan aku menyayangi sesuatu, bergantung kepada seseuatu, lebih dari aku menyayangi dan bergantung kepadaMu'

Sebab inilah.

Takut akan rasa kehilangan. Takut akan rasa hilang tempat bergantung.

.......

Earlier in our marriage, I tend to do everything on my own, konon nak jadi SuperWife and tak nak orang tolong. Working. Cooking. Laundry. Making sure house clean and tip top which at the end of the day I always cranky sebab penat. Until then, Hubs tegur. He dont want all those. He dont mind I dont cook, the house is a mess, laundry once a week or he can do it for me, as long as I spent my time with him, happily. It's all that matters. Masa tu baru terfikir, kenapa nak kejar jadi perfect wife tp suami tak seronok, walaupun semua benda perfect.

Meminta tolong bukan bermaksud bergantung kepada orang tapi meringankan beban. Takut nk mintak Hubs tolong perihal rumah sebab nanti lama2 jadi manja dan pemalas which I did. I only do the house chores whenever I feel so and I feel happy walaupun serabut mata memandang tapi hati suami senang sebab saya senang.

I am glad even rumah is a mess, kain tak lipat, tak masak, tak basuh pinggan seminggu :P

To think back, it's all about toleration and understanding tapi jangan sampai take it for granted.

........

I remember Hubs said 'People used to say, marriage teach us about being sabar but for me, it teach me to be grateful'

Betul.

Bersyukur dengan apa yang ada. Jangan selalu mendongak ke atas untuk melihat kekuranga kita. Lihatlah ke bawah dan renungkan nikmat yang kita ada :)

2 comments :

BAIZURA NATASHA said...

I can relate to myself. i am one of those wife yg mula2 semua benda nak buat sendiri.kunun nk jadi isteri mithali. later than i realized, sgt exhausted okay nak buat sume benda and end up weekend i jd mls nk kluar. sebab too many things nk settle while husband i plak jenis ske jalan. n nw, i just dont care baju begunung tak lipat, sapu sampah once a week or xkemas dapur afte cooking as long as i tmn husband i, and i x merungut penat bila dia ajak jalan. hee. glad that someone in the same shoes with me, coz i do feel like a bad wife bila tgk kwn2 sume jg rumah tiptop.hee

*sorry, terkomen panjang*

The wife said...

all good women wants to be a perfect wife kan tapi betul. rse horrible bile tgk org lain rilek je rumah tangga terjaga tapi masalah laki bini kite mne tau kan. hehe.