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Friday, October 6, 2017


Aqil has been challenging these days and I really hate this phase. The tantrum.. oh my god! Where did he get those energy??

He could spent hourS to throw his voice out loud, and keep continue before he really gives the white flag. It has been a struggling weeks and my heart just hardened. I had enough of spanking and this week I had to start the bathroom timeout, again.

Today he asked me to teman him minum air. Done it once but not twice. I told him he have to do it by himself and he refused. Therefore the drama this morning. I started timing after all the pep talk didnt work.

20minutes in the bathroom with forced shower.

That. Is. A. Record.

The whole building must be cursing me this week 'Again?! Crying?'

Felt terrible at early days but no more. Ibu got to straight you up. Hitting might work faster than timeout but I realized he became more stubborn.

The timeout seems working this week and he has improved. Manja can layan. That, I understand but when he just dont want to give in as well, hence the timeout.

I look at my number three and pray. Please please please no more tantrum from you, just pleaseeeee.

Monday, August 21, 2017

The point of details

Kadang rasa banyak sangat nak tulis. Especially on twitter or any other social media. I typed and typed but always end up feeling 'Argh..whats the point'

What is the point of ranting the details?

The details about how I fast today without my sahur and breakfasting with my kuih yang tak brapa menjadi (tp habis sepinggan bedal sorang)

Or the fact after that I rushed for Maghrib and bring no1 to clinic because the headache and her on-off fever? No2 unwell as well. So hv to bring both.

Or maybe the incidents after coming back from clinic, that I rushed myself for proper meal before no3 wakes up, and at the same time controlling my anger for no1 being mengada to eat her paracetamol? At the same time juggling with no2's meal as well.

Or probably the details of realizing no3 wakes up for his milk, tucked him to sleep, and checked no 2 sleeps with his poop in his diaper, wakes him up for a wash and no1 suddenly wants her dinner. Probably the meds making her feeling better and sudden urge to eat.

All of that not-so-details happens in 4hours and here I am ranting because everyone finally sleeping soundly.

So why again. Why the details and why are you still reading? Funny isn't?

Maybe the fact of knowing that someone would read, understand and probably could relate of what is going on, would make the writer (me) feel better - that I am not alone and I will be fine.

Someone would judge but that doesn't matter. I couldn't care less, because now, it is about me. To re-read the whole details of self-pity story and realize there's a tiny details to be thankful for.

To be thank that, I dont have to cook because my dad tapau the best nasi beriyani in town for bukak puasa.

To actually smile, looking the tak-jadi-kuih finished by the family (it tasted nice tho)

To be grateful for having my mom taking the share handling no1,2 and 3 without me asking for favor.

To be thankful that no3 didnt join the unwell club and could leave him sleeping soundly (under moms care of course) while I bring the other two to the clinic.

Yes, that is the point. The point of the details. To have always looking at the bright side and choose to be happy. Like my husband always said 'Life is about choices. Always choose to be happy, grateful and content'